...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
