We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize