Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
