I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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