then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
