Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
