your room smells of hookers.
And success
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
