No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just want nice things and good sex
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
