I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Randomize
