ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Houston, we have a blender
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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