You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
