garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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