Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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