1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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