Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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