My Higher Power is John Stamos
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize