You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He did a backflip because drugs
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
