C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
