Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
