I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
