woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize