my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
not ubering you a puppy
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
