I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
