i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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