Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
