You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You are the jesus of drinking
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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