he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
