so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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