Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
