dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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