I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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