what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
