I hope mine doesn't look like that
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
did i walk over a car last night?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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