I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize
