Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
