Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
