what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
