No stitches, just platelets and will power
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
They took my balls.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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