Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
