My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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