We're facebook friends in real life
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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