then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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