Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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