I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
