But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
