Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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