You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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