After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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