Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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