Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
