I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
