Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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