Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
