He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
