I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
