Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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