Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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