but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
