she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I still have a little drunk in my system
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
