you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
