She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I enjoy the company of your penis
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
