It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
