i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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