So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
